Couples Therapy in Seattle, WA
Couples therapy for communication breakdowns, recurring conflict, and emotional distance supporting monogamous and ethically non monogamous relationships, including poly, kink, queer, and straight partnerships
Couples Therapy in Seattle
The Cycle is the Enemy — Not Your Partner
It starts as a simple question and turns into a trial. Your bodies kick into gear. Raised voices, sharp tone, interruptions, someone walking out. Suddenly you’re fighting about the fighting. One of you pushes for an answer, the other scrambles for space, and you both leave it convinced the other just doesn’t get it.
When Everything Sounds Like a Threat
After betrayal, everything sounds like a threat. Questions feel like attacks, reassurance feels impossible, and you both feel trapped. Couples therapy in Seattle gives you a place to lay out what happened without minimizing it, name the panic/defensiveness as it’s happening, and interrupt the spiral before it becomes another fight you can’t take back.
When Distance Feels Safer Than Closeness
Intimacy becomes collateral damage—separate beds, separate bedrooms, sometimes separate homes because it’s easier than reaching and getting burned. You can still coordinate life, but the closeness is gone, replaced by tension, distance, and the quiet dread of trying again.
Notice what takes over in you before you even know you’re upset—the tightening, the rush, the urge to defend, withdraw, or attack—often rooted in fear, hurt, or shame.
Name the quiet conclusions you jump to under stress, the ones that land fast and hard: I don’t matter, I’m too much, they’re not there for me.
Feel how safety is built or lost between you in real time, in a pause that’s held, a look that softens, or a repair that comes too late—or not at all.
See the loop you get trapped in together, where one reaction lights the fuse for the next and suddenly you’re both acting in ways you don’t recognize.
Have new moments that interrupt the old ones, where sadness, shame, tenderness, or even joy can surface and be met—changing how reachable, responsive, and engaged you feel with each other.
This work goes beyond surface conflict.
It’s about creating lasting change in how you relate, repair, and feel safe together.
How Can Couples Therapy in Seattle Help?
My Approach to Couples Therapy in Seattle
Working with me isn’t about rushing insight or forcing hard conversations before you’re ready. Couples therapy moves at a pace that feels supportive for both of you.
My focus is the relationship itself—not taking sides or deciding who’s right or wrong. I hold the relationship as the client, while staying attuned to each partner’s experience. That means both of you matter, and neither of you is the problem.
We may explore tender or painful parts of your shared history. If things feel intense, we slow down. If one of you needs a pause, we take one. Nothing is forced, and no one is pushed past their capacity.
I’m warm, but I’m also direct. If patterns are keeping you stuck, I’ll name them. If something is getting in the way of connection, we’ll look at it together—with care, honesty, and respect for both partners.
This work helps you practice closeness, honesty, and repair in real time so your relationship can feel safer and more secure outside of sessions, too.
Couples will learn how to communicate clearly without escalation, understand the patterns driving conflict, repair after disagreements, and rebuild trust and emotional intimacy in ways that last beyond the therapy room.
Reach out if this sounds like a good fit for you and your partner. I’d be happy to connect!
Evidence-Based Couples Counseling in Seattle
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Gottman Method Couples Therapy
helps couples understand why conversations turn into arguments and what to do differently in those moments. You’ll learn practical ways to communicate, repair after high conflict, and strengthen the day-to-day foundation of your relationship.
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Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
looks at the emotions and needs underneath your reactions with each other. It helps you feel safer being honest, soften defensiveness, and reconnect in ways that create real closeness, not just temporary peace.
Ready to invest in yourself? Here’s how to begin.
1. Start with a free 20 minute phone call or video chat
We’ll explore your goal for therapy and determine if my style is the right fit for you.
2. Scheduling the first session
Once we decide to move forward, we select a day and time to meet consistently. Most clients start off with weekly therapy sessions and then over time graduate to biweekly, monthly, and so forth. Through my client portal, I’ll send over all questionnaires and consent documents that you complete before our first intake session — so we don’t waste time.
3. Get started & reach new depths
As we get to know each other, we will develop a collaborative approach for you! I look forward to watching you make strides in your life!
Integrative Therapy Approaches
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Mindfulness
Mindfulness is really just learning to pay attention to what’s happening inside and around you, in real time, without piling up the criticism. It’s the practice of noticing your thoughts and feelings with curiosity rather than judgment, so you can respond with clarity instead of reacting on autopilot.
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Attachment science
Attachment science explores how the relationships we first relied on create a blueprint for how we connect, cope, and feel safe. Those early bonds influence how we view ourselves and how we show up in relationships throughout our lives.
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Internal Family Systems
Internal Family Systems sees your inner world as made up of different “parts,” each with its own emotions, roles, and intentions. When you get to know these parts with compassion, the inner conflict softens and you create more space for clarity, peace, and healing.
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Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP)
KAP in a therapeutic setting can help soften rigid patterns, open new perspectives, and make emotional healing more accessible. Paired with compassionate guidance and integration work, it can create a safe inner space for deeper insight, release, and meaningful change.
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Somatic Therapy
Somatic therapy works with the body because healing isn’t just a mindset shift, it’s a nervous system shift. As your system learns to regulate, reactions soften, emotions feel more manageable, and change happens more naturally.
Online therapy in Seattle, WA and Portland, Oregon
Relational trauma therapy and couples counseling for adults ready to feel secure in relationships, calm in themselves, and confident in their truth.